Realization – Knowing the true self

I thought I knew myself better. I was sure that innocuous and frivolous were the terms that were closest to my existence and demeanour. Come what may, I knew I could withstand anything and everything. For me, emotions were nothing but a portrayal of human’s one of the abilities. But this was yesterday.

Having learnt about the intensity of pain just a cut to my niece brought makes me I guess the weakest person today. It took me a low-BP attack and several jerks to come to terms with her 1-cm cut. More than being considerate about my condition I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe the way my body reacted to her shrieks. I scolded myself for being so fragile, for being so ignorant all this while and for awakening so late.

As I laid there on the gurney, wondering my humiliating setback, a sense of fear rushed through my body. The obviousness of the end with mortality suddenly embraced my thoughts. I was blank, feeling a gush of cold air during the hot, humid day of Jaipur. Somehow I couldn’t come to terms with the thought of losing my dear one at any given point of my life. I hate feeling helpless but that moment I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. I was numb, but luckily my niece’s soft murmur yanked me from my dreaded thoughts. I saw her, but my eyes could just capture the wound. I knew the moment was far from over.

Next few hours were spent in anticipation of some antidote to the hundreds of dilemmas that bombarded into my head. I sought for nothing but nirvana.

We all know our destiny; difference only lies in the timeliness of the call. It doesn’t see who loves who and to what extent, who wants to live and who wants to take on the new role. Everyone will be THERE someday but we still wish to evade it somehow.

Today we may witness a platter of differences among us in terms of wealth, position and power, but the future holds the same for everyone. Love it and live it; realise your worth and make the most of your living because neither can you hide from it nor can you outrun it. Death will definitely be ours one day when the time comes calling—perhaps today, tomorrow or years later. This is why we run against time, reminding us of the clock that keeps ticking with every breath. In short this is life and its mesmerising, undeciphered ups and downs; you just got to play with it.