She has everything one wants! He has a life which I always wanted! Why don’t I enjoy life when I can? Why? Why? Why? These are the unsaid and unheard cries of many. More than being considerate about our lives we try to match up to others and opt to be saddened by its absence. We don’t realize in the midst of finding sheer satisfaction we end up overlooking happiness life hurls at us. Unknowingly we prefer to struggle each day for reasons to be unhappy about. Question today is: What makes us happy?
I see people around me wanting for more, every time and in everything. Be it love, belongings or dreams. There is just no stop to one’s desires. Before we get one thing, curiosity for the other builds up, and so much that excitement of the former dies down. We never realize what we lost, until we see ourselves whining again for a reason to smile. I guess, the definition of happiness has evolved over the years and varies with people and their needs.
Why do we wait for a good news to celebrate and be happy about? Shouldn’t each day without an untoward incident be counted as a good enough reason to be cheerful? Knowing your loved ones are safe wherever they are, is something to be thankful for? Isn’t having someone to share your gossips and blabbering, without being judged, a relief? We just need to realize that happiness is bundled in so many little things that, if chosen, we can be happy… at least most of the time!
Life is too short to crib and too unpredictable to wait for the right moment. We shouldn’t expect results to show as soon as we sow the seeds. Therefore, be patient and enjoy what you have in your plate. It would be soon that you will realize what was missing all this while. It is beautiful.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Realization – Knowing the true self
I thought I knew myself better. I was sure that innocuous and frivolous were the terms that were closest to my existence and demeanour. Come what may, I knew I could withstand anything and everything. For me, emotions were nothing but a portrayal of human’s one of the abilities. But this was yesterday.
Having learnt about the intensity of pain just a cut to my niece brought makes me I guess the weakest person today. It took me a low-BP attack and several jerks to come to terms with her 1-cm cut. More than being considerate about my condition I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe the way my body reacted to her shrieks. I scolded myself for being so fragile, for being so ignorant all this while and for awakening so late.
As I laid there on the gurney, wondering my humiliating setback, a sense of fear rushed through my body. The obviousness of the end with mortality suddenly embraced my thoughts. I was blank, feeling a gush of cold air during the hot, humid day of Jaipur. Somehow I couldn’t come to terms with the thought of losing my dear one at any given point of my life. I hate feeling helpless but that moment I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. I was numb, but luckily my niece’s soft murmur yanked me from my dreaded thoughts. I saw her, but my eyes could just capture the wound. I knew the moment was far from over.
Next few hours were spent in anticipation of some antidote to the hundreds of dilemmas that bombarded into my head. I sought for nothing but nirvana.
We all know our destiny; difference only lies in the timeliness of the call. It doesn’t see who loves who and to what extent, who wants to live and who wants to take on the new role. Everyone will be THERE someday but we still wish to evade it somehow.
Today we may witness a platter of differences among us in terms of wealth, position and power, but the future holds the same for everyone. Love it and live it; realise your worth and make the most of your living because neither can you hide from it nor can you outrun it. Death will definitely be ours one day when the time comes calling—perhaps today, tomorrow or years later. This is why we run against time, reminding us of the clock that keeps ticking with every breath. In short this is life and its mesmerising, undeciphered ups and downs; you just got to play with it.
Having learnt about the intensity of pain just a cut to my niece brought makes me I guess the weakest person today. It took me a low-BP attack and several jerks to come to terms with her 1-cm cut. More than being considerate about my condition I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe the way my body reacted to her shrieks. I scolded myself for being so fragile, for being so ignorant all this while and for awakening so late.
As I laid there on the gurney, wondering my humiliating setback, a sense of fear rushed through my body. The obviousness of the end with mortality suddenly embraced my thoughts. I was blank, feeling a gush of cold air during the hot, humid day of Jaipur. Somehow I couldn’t come to terms with the thought of losing my dear one at any given point of my life. I hate feeling helpless but that moment I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. I was numb, but luckily my niece’s soft murmur yanked me from my dreaded thoughts. I saw her, but my eyes could just capture the wound. I knew the moment was far from over.
Next few hours were spent in anticipation of some antidote to the hundreds of dilemmas that bombarded into my head. I sought for nothing but nirvana.
We all know our destiny; difference only lies in the timeliness of the call. It doesn’t see who loves who and to what extent, who wants to live and who wants to take on the new role. Everyone will be THERE someday but we still wish to evade it somehow.
Today we may witness a platter of differences among us in terms of wealth, position and power, but the future holds the same for everyone. Love it and live it; realise your worth and make the most of your living because neither can you hide from it nor can you outrun it. Death will definitely be ours one day when the time comes calling—perhaps today, tomorrow or years later. This is why we run against time, reminding us of the clock that keeps ticking with every breath. In short this is life and its mesmerising, undeciphered ups and downs; you just got to play with it.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Death – A Helping Hand
Once someone said “It's no use reminding yourself daily that you are mortal: it will be brought home to you soon enough. Nature is a ruthless teacher.” Indeed it is. Fearing what I saw a couple of days ago makes me wonder how insignificant our life is to the ones unknown to us. It was insanely heartbreaking and mindboggling to see a man crushed under the truck while we returned from a good family outing. My mind helplessly choreographed what I dreaded the most for my loved ones. But just the thought gave me a painful shudder, forcing me to erase the memory of what I had just witnessed. It was a horrible sight.
Clearing the bottleneck after an hour of standstill traffic, we drove past the anxious faces of the cops and several rubbernecks. Inquisitive as always, although I wish I wouldn’t have been for that moment, I peeped through the window to get a clear view of the fuss that seemed to have got traffic all topsy-turvy. Never in my wildest imagination had I thought of witnessing something so unpleasant. In fact a car wreck was all I expected to see. But my horror began when our car drove parallel to a wet trail a truck had left. I saw what seemed like smashed tomatoes on the road. My heartbeat eased a little thinking there was no casualty but was obviously sorry for the poor farmer who had all his hard work in drain. But before I could settle with ease, I saw a man half covered in a sheet under the tyres of the same truck. I could see him, literally everted. And the worst, one of his legs was lying few metres away from his body. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at; shocked as hell, I didn’t want to see, yet I continued to stare. Then I remembered the tomatoes, which I had interpreted, instead they were lumps of the body which had been shredded into innumerable pieces. I was dumbfounded.
It had been several hours since that unfortunate event. But my eyes could still picture it clearly. I wanted to erase what I saw, what I was feeling and the thoughts of the mourning family. I was helpless, but memories came running back!
Since that day there have been many sleepless nights. Watching a man die in front of you and in such horrific manner makes you wonder the uncertainty of life. Today you smile but tomorrow you may lay buried somewhere six-feet under. In fact after your morning goodbyes to your loved ones, who knows if you would ever see them again. How does the wheel of life work? Who dies and who evades death? Why me? These unanswered questions may connote a helpless living but they do teach how one should be grateful of every single day.
From this incident, apart from learning worth of a human life, I realised that simplicity and untimely call of the death itself asks you to be grateful of the life you have received. No one is always happy, nor does good luck follow you all the time. But still you continue to breathe. So why not in a manner that makes you happy and complacent. Is it hard to live a content life or you choose to be unsatiated...always?
Clearing the bottleneck after an hour of standstill traffic, we drove past the anxious faces of the cops and several rubbernecks. Inquisitive as always, although I wish I wouldn’t have been for that moment, I peeped through the window to get a clear view of the fuss that seemed to have got traffic all topsy-turvy. Never in my wildest imagination had I thought of witnessing something so unpleasant. In fact a car wreck was all I expected to see. But my horror began when our car drove parallel to a wet trail a truck had left. I saw what seemed like smashed tomatoes on the road. My heartbeat eased a little thinking there was no casualty but was obviously sorry for the poor farmer who had all his hard work in drain. But before I could settle with ease, I saw a man half covered in a sheet under the tyres of the same truck. I could see him, literally everted. And the worst, one of his legs was lying few metres away from his body. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at; shocked as hell, I didn’t want to see, yet I continued to stare. Then I remembered the tomatoes, which I had interpreted, instead they were lumps of the body which had been shredded into innumerable pieces. I was dumbfounded.
It had been several hours since that unfortunate event. But my eyes could still picture it clearly. I wanted to erase what I saw, what I was feeling and the thoughts of the mourning family. I was helpless, but memories came running back!
Since that day there have been many sleepless nights. Watching a man die in front of you and in such horrific manner makes you wonder the uncertainty of life. Today you smile but tomorrow you may lay buried somewhere six-feet under. In fact after your morning goodbyes to your loved ones, who knows if you would ever see them again. How does the wheel of life work? Who dies and who evades death? Why me? These unanswered questions may connote a helpless living but they do teach how one should be grateful of every single day.
From this incident, apart from learning worth of a human life, I realised that simplicity and untimely call of the death itself asks you to be grateful of the life you have received. No one is always happy, nor does good luck follow you all the time. But still you continue to breathe. So why not in a manner that makes you happy and complacent. Is it hard to live a content life or you choose to be unsatiated...always?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
My life – Neha Thapa
One lazy afternoon, as I idly sat at my workstation facing the Monday blues, my eyes fluttered with sleep of almost a decade. They desperately wandered in search of something interesting to keep themselves awake, but nothing seemed as appealing as a good warm winter nap. Then, as if epiphany struck me, I decided to utilize this time to think about how my life had been over the years. Part of me excitedly began recollecting the memories that competed to be revived, while the other mourned with the thought of facing the dreaded ones again. Yet here I am, doing what I think I am best at.
I remember, when I was a child I hated being a girl. I was oblivious of the existence of doll houses, nail paints, long hair, gossiping. It was like what rock music is to me now; could never get the head or tail of it. It was sports all the way. I loved playing and repelled books. It wasn’t that I did not like studying, but I never got time for it. In school, I carved my own niche with all the achievements in sports. Although wicked, but to me it brought immense pleasure to intimidate a race, knowing the results beforehand and the crowd cheering your name, I loved it all. But as time passed, I became aware of my other side. I became more and more inclined to God, His miracles and philosophies. I knew somehow I was different, maybe because I started thinking beyond my age. Becoming a vegetarian from a crazy meat-lover was the first step towards leading a life on my own terms. Well, some might find this irrelevant but I know if you are surrounded with hardcore non-veggies 24/7, most of your time is spent in controlling the tongue-wagging. That was the time I realised my strengths. Determination and will power seem to come easy to me. I had my own justification to the choices I made, which obviously boggled many. Also, when the world saw pleasure in indulging themselves into worldly habits, I developed distinct distaste towards them. Surprisingly I learnt the theory of Abstinence without being caught or spanked... However, I wouldn’t say I never have weak moments; when I see my friends enjoying their lives, even I think of being reasonable and acting my age. But, the fear never overgrew me. I was scared of breaking the promise to someone unknown...
Even today the life has been the same for me. Wake up, pray, work and sleep. I still haven’t been able to know how it feels to let go...yourself, your consciousness, and your ever-dictating brain. I wish I could, but deep inside I know even if that moment comes I wouldn’t be able to take the plunge. I have settled with thinking that there is no explanation to your beliefs, acts and conceptions. You just follow. But one thing is for sure, there is neither regret nor sadness. You learn to become content with what life hurls at you. I was never told to choose this path, rather there is no path, it is just a way of leading your life and knowing which turn in life you took!
I remember, when I was a child I hated being a girl. I was oblivious of the existence of doll houses, nail paints, long hair, gossiping. It was like what rock music is to me now; could never get the head or tail of it. It was sports all the way. I loved playing and repelled books. It wasn’t that I did not like studying, but I never got time for it. In school, I carved my own niche with all the achievements in sports. Although wicked, but to me it brought immense pleasure to intimidate a race, knowing the results beforehand and the crowd cheering your name, I loved it all. But as time passed, I became aware of my other side. I became more and more inclined to God, His miracles and philosophies. I knew somehow I was different, maybe because I started thinking beyond my age. Becoming a vegetarian from a crazy meat-lover was the first step towards leading a life on my own terms. Well, some might find this irrelevant but I know if you are surrounded with hardcore non-veggies 24/7, most of your time is spent in controlling the tongue-wagging. That was the time I realised my strengths. Determination and will power seem to come easy to me. I had my own justification to the choices I made, which obviously boggled many. Also, when the world saw pleasure in indulging themselves into worldly habits, I developed distinct distaste towards them. Surprisingly I learnt the theory of Abstinence without being caught or spanked... However, I wouldn’t say I never have weak moments; when I see my friends enjoying their lives, even I think of being reasonable and acting my age. But, the fear never overgrew me. I was scared of breaking the promise to someone unknown...
Even today the life has been the same for me. Wake up, pray, work and sleep. I still haven’t been able to know how it feels to let go...yourself, your consciousness, and your ever-dictating brain. I wish I could, but deep inside I know even if that moment comes I wouldn’t be able to take the plunge. I have settled with thinking that there is no explanation to your beliefs, acts and conceptions. You just follow. But one thing is for sure, there is neither regret nor sadness. You learn to become content with what life hurls at you. I was never told to choose this path, rather there is no path, it is just a way of leading your life and knowing which turn in life you took!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
WHY?
It is astonishing that even before we are born, our lives and destiny have been scripted so diligently by the unknowns that we fail to question or doubt them. Despite the fact that we spend numerous sleepless nights wondering why and how of things, somewhere we still inhibit to acknowledge the flaws. Why do I have to be a Hindu or a Muslim or of any other religion? Why can’t I be just an individual with neither persuasion nor rules telling me how to lead my life? Why can’t I call my life really mine? Such questions might not exhaust, but human minds have been flooded with these dilemmas since their birth. And now the time is such, where, every passing day, we unresistingly let ourselves become dumb victims of unjustified norms and heritage.
Everyday in a hospital before one acknowledges the birth of an innocent child, he/she feels proud to have a successor to the family’s name. In fact lesser than a blink it takes for them to path the future of the child. But in the midst of happiness, there is mourning which constantly screeches for help, but our selfish celebrations deafen the silent cry of somebody’s independence. I believe it is the truth that we are all scared of, the impractical superiority that we want to achieve, it is cowardice of one that everyone is being pushed into this unending sorrow. Why don’t we realise, whether we are rich or poor, Hindu or Muslim, president or proletarian, sooner or later we are all destined to be heaped in a pyre of our deeds.
I don’t want to be differentiated from others on the basis of something which has evolved into different definitions over the years – RELIGION. The purpose of its existence totally defies the meaning it serves today. In fact, it has grown as being the strongest reason of betrayal, killings and separation from others. More so, especially in a country, which still struggles to rise above these archaic beliefs, its end seems like a start. That day is yet to be seen, but heartily anticipated, when people would brace themselves for who they really are, when they would stop hiding their fears and realities in the name of colour.
How can we trust religion for our well being when itself it struggles to be defined in words or wisdom? Its meaning varies with one’s perception, belief, understanding, situation, and even place. Then, how can we let our minds and actions be curbed around it?
Questions do not end here nor does the anger subdue. Awakening is what it requires; opening of shut minds is what it screeches. And we will attain what we all aspired to.....
Everyday in a hospital before one acknowledges the birth of an innocent child, he/she feels proud to have a successor to the family’s name. In fact lesser than a blink it takes for them to path the future of the child. But in the midst of happiness, there is mourning which constantly screeches for help, but our selfish celebrations deafen the silent cry of somebody’s independence. I believe it is the truth that we are all scared of, the impractical superiority that we want to achieve, it is cowardice of one that everyone is being pushed into this unending sorrow. Why don’t we realise, whether we are rich or poor, Hindu or Muslim, president or proletarian, sooner or later we are all destined to be heaped in a pyre of our deeds.
I don’t want to be differentiated from others on the basis of something which has evolved into different definitions over the years – RELIGION. The purpose of its existence totally defies the meaning it serves today. In fact, it has grown as being the strongest reason of betrayal, killings and separation from others. More so, especially in a country, which still struggles to rise above these archaic beliefs, its end seems like a start. That day is yet to be seen, but heartily anticipated, when people would brace themselves for who they really are, when they would stop hiding their fears and realities in the name of colour.
How can we trust religion for our well being when itself it struggles to be defined in words or wisdom? Its meaning varies with one’s perception, belief, understanding, situation, and even place. Then, how can we let our minds and actions be curbed around it?
Questions do not end here nor does the anger subdue. Awakening is what it requires; opening of shut minds is what it screeches. And we will attain what we all aspired to.....
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
SSB - An Experience to Die for
One day, like any other day, I was coming back home from office. There was nothing unusual about the day, treading my way with nothing but sleep in mind. I had been bitten with a monotonous rounine bug at work so I cribbed all the way for not being able to enjoy life like any other office-goers and for missing my favourite respite of the summer (trekking) because of the new found love - JOB. I wouldn’t say it was all that bad. After all, last day of the month does make working worth for every one, although it is sad when u wish, wish and just wish for payday to come every alternate day…but reality and fantasy are two ends of the ocean that will hardly meet for well-wishers like us.
Anyway, as I made my way back, it was already late so I expected the mails to be picked up by somebody else, also I felt little tired to peep in vain in the mailbox. But I guess when things have to work your way, it will no matter what. I was about to reach my doors when I saw a white envelope in my letter box. I picked it up with least interest as it had been years since I had got any mail (with technology reaching the notch, e-mails are what I receive...hehe). But to my amazement it was for me, and it took my heartbeat for a skip when I read…SSB INTERVIEW CALL-LETTER. That took me a while to understand what was happening since it had been months I had given CDS. I quickly cleared up my mind that suddenly rushed with hundreds of questions (how come I cleared CDS, is this a prank, really I cleared CDS, and am I going to the Army?). I ran up the stairs with all the tiredness taking a back seat with letter firmly held in hand, hoping that it wasn’t a dream that I would be awaken from. It was a proud moment for me, felt as if I had conquered the world...half at least.
Those five days of the SSB were the best days of my life. Days saw culmination of discipline, rules, strictness and fun, making my life’s experiences falling short to compare the amazing time I spent there. It all began with making friends at the railway station where we all gathered. I saw tens of faces with thousands of emotions portraying the commoner’s thought of SSB interview. And as always I felt out of place with girls double my height and all fit and geared up for the days to come while I eased myself with potato chips in one hand and Pepsi in the other to comfort my stay to the best.
First day passed with the thought of being in the Lion’s den - Allahabad SSB centre, the toughest place to be in. But the following day had us on our toes as it was the day of elimination. I felt like a roadie who’d pack her bag with future soon to be uncovered. But GD saved me to witness the ruthless yet enjoyable four days ahead.
Psychological test, situation reaction test, group discussion, lectureate, snake race, Burma Bridge, Tarzan swing and what not. You name it and we did it all. Even after all this, we had the nerve to wait for more. But it was all fun and memorable from the scratch. My funniest moment there was when I tried my hands on the Tarzan swing (not sure if that the exact name!). Rather than flying my way to the white line at the other end, I went straight down with face half dug in mud. It was embarrassing. But more painful was crossing the 8-feet wall without any aid. Though in a way it helped as it left me with blue and red bruised skin, a perfect cover for my lie in the office.
Although at the end I couldn’t make the cut off but these five days are the best days of my life where every moment I loved to be in discipline, also I made friends who seem perfect for the rest of my life. These days taught me that Army is not a joke where you go searching for adventure and sports but more about forgetting yourself and being able to lay your life for the unknowns. I wish one day, even if I do not join Army, I’d be some help to my country and be a part of the moments when it conquers the world.
Anyway, as I made my way back, it was already late so I expected the mails to be picked up by somebody else, also I felt little tired to peep in vain in the mailbox. But I guess when things have to work your way, it will no matter what. I was about to reach my doors when I saw a white envelope in my letter box. I picked it up with least interest as it had been years since I had got any mail (with technology reaching the notch, e-mails are what I receive...hehe). But to my amazement it was for me, and it took my heartbeat for a skip when I read…SSB INTERVIEW CALL-LETTER. That took me a while to understand what was happening since it had been months I had given CDS. I quickly cleared up my mind that suddenly rushed with hundreds of questions (how come I cleared CDS, is this a prank, really I cleared CDS, and am I going to the Army?). I ran up the stairs with all the tiredness taking a back seat with letter firmly held in hand, hoping that it wasn’t a dream that I would be awaken from. It was a proud moment for me, felt as if I had conquered the world...half at least.
Those five days of the SSB were the best days of my life. Days saw culmination of discipline, rules, strictness and fun, making my life’s experiences falling short to compare the amazing time I spent there. It all began with making friends at the railway station where we all gathered. I saw tens of faces with thousands of emotions portraying the commoner’s thought of SSB interview. And as always I felt out of place with girls double my height and all fit and geared up for the days to come while I eased myself with potato chips in one hand and Pepsi in the other to comfort my stay to the best.
First day passed with the thought of being in the Lion’s den - Allahabad SSB centre, the toughest place to be in. But the following day had us on our toes as it was the day of elimination. I felt like a roadie who’d pack her bag with future soon to be uncovered. But GD saved me to witness the ruthless yet enjoyable four days ahead.
Psychological test, situation reaction test, group discussion, lectureate, snake race, Burma Bridge, Tarzan swing and what not. You name it and we did it all. Even after all this, we had the nerve to wait for more. But it was all fun and memorable from the scratch. My funniest moment there was when I tried my hands on the Tarzan swing (not sure if that the exact name!). Rather than flying my way to the white line at the other end, I went straight down with face half dug in mud. It was embarrassing. But more painful was crossing the 8-feet wall without any aid. Though in a way it helped as it left me with blue and red bruised skin, a perfect cover for my lie in the office.
Although at the end I couldn’t make the cut off but these five days are the best days of my life where every moment I loved to be in discipline, also I made friends who seem perfect for the rest of my life. These days taught me that Army is not a joke where you go searching for adventure and sports but more about forgetting yourself and being able to lay your life for the unknowns. I wish one day, even if I do not join Army, I’d be some help to my country and be a part of the moments when it conquers the world.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
God…The Controversial Being
GOD, as I define, is a universal truth yet a controversy since existence. We have quoted His presence in number of terms, stories, experiences, and till date continue to do so to acknowledge this phenomenal mystery. But do we really know who He is, has anyone seen him, or can anyone defy the possibility of Him being a mere illusion, more of a vision of fantasy? The only answer is NO. But the fact lies hidden in these words, some may deny it, in fact I do, because how much I try I cannot make agnostic look deep inside me to believe it. These are the questions which haunt you, make you doubt your faith and above all, question the almighty.
It all starts with a belief in miracle and unconditional happiness in pain. When I was a child, I was spoilt like really really spoilt (well, it has not changed till today…!!!), restless, blaming the world for my actions. But as time passed, I grew. I developed greater insights into human nature, always asking why of things, topics and writings on miracles and phenomenal occurrences interested me. I wanted to know the hill of emotions that humans are blessed with. Of all I wanted to know God. I never read about him, I don’t know the exact definition of God, neither have I seen him but I feel him with me every moment I breathe. It is for Him that I see life is beautiful despite the hard times. He is LOVE.
A book may tell you thousands of ways to find him, but the truth is you will never find him if you go searching for him. He is more than a physical being. If not so then tell me have u dreamt Him in any other form than what you have been projected with (T.V. serials, epics, pictures).NO. Because He is not what you see but what you do, what you feel... rather He is you.
I admit I am too immature to question the sayings but is it worth to believe the thoughts you cannot justify. I am a spiritual person; I believe in his presence every single day, just my definition is beyond His physical existence. For me, He is everywhere....
It all starts with a belief in miracle and unconditional happiness in pain. When I was a child, I was spoilt like really really spoilt (well, it has not changed till today…!!!), restless, blaming the world for my actions. But as time passed, I grew. I developed greater insights into human nature, always asking why of things, topics and writings on miracles and phenomenal occurrences interested me. I wanted to know the hill of emotions that humans are blessed with. Of all I wanted to know God. I never read about him, I don’t know the exact definition of God, neither have I seen him but I feel him with me every moment I breathe. It is for Him that I see life is beautiful despite the hard times. He is LOVE.
A book may tell you thousands of ways to find him, but the truth is you will never find him if you go searching for him. He is more than a physical being. If not so then tell me have u dreamt Him in any other form than what you have been projected with (T.V. serials, epics, pictures).NO. Because He is not what you see but what you do, what you feel... rather He is you.
I admit I am too immature to question the sayings but is it worth to believe the thoughts you cannot justify. I am a spiritual person; I believe in his presence every single day, just my definition is beyond His physical existence. For me, He is everywhere....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
